How to Grow Confidence

Listen to the podcast:
http://www.mediafire.com/listen/ndbvg3ltva6wvsl/how_to_grow_confidence_-_3_30_15,_2.05_PM.m4a

Watch the video:
http://www.mediafire.com/watch/oqvu5yn4fuuajd3/how_to_grow_confidence.mp4

What’s up Badass!

Well it’s Monday, and contrary to the main stream idea of hating today because it’s a Monday, I think Monday is the most important day to dominate and kick ass. If you start the week feeling, “ugh, it’s Monday”, then change that right now! It’s probably your diet and lack of sleep, but that’s a blog for another time. Monday is the start of most people’s week, and that’s an opportunity to start the week STRONG.

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Today, I want to tell you a story of a guy named Tom.

I was eating my lunch last week, on a sunny, quiet afternoon up in the buffet area of the ship I work on, outside on the AFT (ship talk for the back of the ship). It was sunny party cloudy, and I was enjoying some salad and other produce when a middle aged man comes up to me and tells me how much he has enjoyed my playing. I get this a lot, and it’s usually the only time I talk with passengers or when they want my help with finding something not he ship.
He apologized for disturbing my meal, but I reassured him multiple times that I didn’t mind and I enjoyed the conversation I have with passengers because usually it’s about music, something I’ve dedicated my whole life to. As we were speaking, he told me about his background in music, playing trumpet, and then he spoke about his son. He is 16 and plays drums and is super talented, but is dead scared of playing around people. He works two jobs so he could save enough money and buy an electronic drum set so he can rock out without anyone listening. Tom went on to tell me that his son has the skill, but doesn’t have the confidence to show his skill to others.

“Man… I’ve Been There!”, I told him.

Instantly a light went on inside of me and I thought to myself, “This is a blog post”. I even told him that I have to blog about how to get over this. He was curious what my blog was about so he gave me his email address to pass on the info.

So let me tell you a little something about this shyness bug inside of you that keeps you from greatness.

Sure… you can have skill, behind closed doors, but there is another skill you MUST strengthen in order to be TRULY GREAT.

CONFIDENCE

I hear so much shitty advice from people saying, “Just be confident”.

That’s not how it works.

I’ve spent the past 10 years studying on my own and taking many seminars and classes on how to build my confidence and now I have a good idea what it takes, especially after helping hundreds of people build their own.
About a year ago, I came across probably the best explanation of how to BUILD confidence. Confidence is an emotional state, a feeling. In order to grow that emotional state so you feel is most of the time, you must take BOLD ACTION.

What is Bold Action?

Bold action is conveying your will SEERING clarity.
In other words, saying or doing EXACTLY what you want. 100%.
If you want to borrow $75 from your parents for a day at a theme park, tell them directly, “Mom, Dad, I’d like to borrow $75 to spend at Magic Mountain with my friends.” IT’S 100% CLEAR. They may say no, but the will respect that you asked for what you wanted and either give you less, or maybe more for being such fucking Badass and taking Bold Action! If I had a kid, I know give him $100.

Fellas, MY BROTHAS!
If you want to ask a girl out, don’t say, “I was wondering if you maybe want to go see a movie with me sometime”. That is not BOLD. Instead say something like, “I want to go see (name of movie) and I’d like to bring you along with me”. It’s clear, and it’s BOLD. She will be thrilled you invited her, and will probably say yes. Even if she doesn’t say yes, she will LOVE that you were so clear and bold about it. But most important, you will be training yourself how to be bold and that grows confidence. The more you take bold action (like practicing any skill), the more confident you’ll become, especially when they say yes. And furthermore, if she they say no, you’ll have nothing to regret knowing that you went for it.

Ladies, MY SISTAS!
If you want to get the attention of a boy that you think is really cool, the same goes for you. Invite him to something you already want to do. “Hey some of my friends and I going to grab a bite to eat afterwards and I’d like you to join us”. Trust me when I say this that you will instantly become a woman when you say this. My girlfriend is direct like this too, and it’s wonderful. Every woman I know who I respect clearly says what she wants. Practice this. Remember, you might get a no, but at least you’ll know!

I can’t tell you how many times I get a no, but I ALWAYS GO FOR IT and that make me happy because it’s the only thing I can control.

If I were to work with Tom’s son and teach him how to play in front of people, confidently, the first thing I’d ask him is “How do you know when you’re nervous around playing with other people?”

That phrase “How do you know (plug in frustration or blockage)” will give you the real reason, and help you find a solution. From there I’d have him make a list of 20 things that intimidate him (most of them are always social things), from least nerve racking to most nerve racking, and he would have to complete the list twice weekly.

My habit now is to identity the things that make me feel uncomfortable and do them as much as possible so that I’m CONSTANTLY SHEDDING FEAR. I want to be FEARLESS! Fear doesn’t exist anyway, it’s just something we decide is real. But that’s a whole different topic :).

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TIME TO TAKE ACTION!
Your 30 Day Challenge (if you choose to accept it)
For the next 30 days, once a day, I want you to take a Bold Action. Whatever it is. Every time you ask someone for something, whether it’s food from a waiter, from your parents or friends, or a stranger, practice asking what you want with 100% clarity. After 30 days you will be different. You will be more confident, and you’ll have created a new habit.

And let me tell you… the world awards confident people and Bold Action. Why? Because everyone wants it and too many people are too scared of being uncomfortable for a brief moment to get there.

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Ok, that’s today’s lesson for making you a Badass Teenager. If you accept the above challenge, leave a comment below with “I Accept the 30 Day Boldness Challenge”.

Dwight ——> OUT